I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
