it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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