Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
