Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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