Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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