i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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