that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
