Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
