Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
