He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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