Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
