i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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