She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
