this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
