doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do vagina's smell?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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