And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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