you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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