You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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