Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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