So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
