The maid of honor just puked.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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