May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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