writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
