Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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