"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
