i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
