No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
