Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
