I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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