I want to have your abortion
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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