I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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