I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
