there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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