I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
