halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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