Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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