She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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