my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i came on her dog
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize