2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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