apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
