Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
