Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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