i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize