I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
