; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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