I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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