And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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