Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
