How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize