No stitches, just platelets and will power
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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