I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You have to summon your inner elephant
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
