I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
