remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
