I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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