I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize