At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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