She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
